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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28896333">Staff Only</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TawnyOwl95/pseuds/TawnyOwl95'>TawnyOwl95</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Good Omens Bingo 2021 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad Roleplay, How do human bodies work?, Losing your virginity? maybe?, M/M, Metaphysical Sex, Post-Scene: Garden of Eden (Good Omens), Shameless Smut, rescue fantasy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:46:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28896333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TawnyOwl95/pseuds/TawnyOwl95</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Eden, an angel and a demon have a liaison in a disused storage cupboard in Hell. If only they could understand how bodies work.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Good Omens Bingo 2021 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Good Omens Bingo 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Staff Only</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is very silly entry for the 'Hell' prompt on my Good Omens Bingo Card.  </p><p>Thank you to<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPenguinParade/pseuds/PinkPenguinParade">PinkPenguinParade</a><br/>and WhatbutaVillian for the feedback.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Crawly hated getting summoned back to Hell. Hell was boring, or painful, and quite often, both at once. And it was pointless because even in the shortish span of his demonic existence, Crawly had already become aware that he was quite capable of making his own Hellish torment, thank you very much. He should have known today would be no exception, especially when he saw the crowd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowds in Hell's corridors were not unusual. Encouraged, even. The corridors had been designed so that there was as little light, room and air as possible. This crowd had a focus though. Rather than random dispirited jostling it converged on a single point against the wall. There was a distinct hint of curious muttering in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly intended to keep walking and be thankful that whatever was going on wasn't hurting him when a familiar, and very angelic, voice said, "Oh, that tickles! Stop it. Stop it!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly changed direction before his brain caught up with his feet. An imp cried out in frustration as his filing was knocked from his hands. Hopping on toes, and dodging elbows, Crawly reached the periphery of the crowd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I say!" The angel, Aziraphale, that was his name, squeaked breathlessly. "That's really rather rude."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly tucked in his wings and began to force his way through the scrum of demonic corporations. The fluff of white hair at the crowd's centre was definitely Aziraphale's, as were the eyes crinkled in worry, the flapping hands that batted away the demon plucking at his robes. The scaly fingers were immediately replaced by ones with claws. They caught on the collar of Aziraphale's robe as he squirmed away from both them and the demon fluffing his wings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fabric of his collar ripped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hot, itchy feeling pressed against Crawly's ribs. "Oi!" the words burst from his mouth with no regard for his instincts of self preservation. "Leave it!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several faces turned to face him. The angel's was the only one Crawly cared about. All wide eyes and parted lips, hand darting to the base of his neck as he inhaled sharply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hot, itchy feeling was still there, but it had moved lower down. Crawly felt awkward and exposed, but also daring. Powerful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We was just playing," sulked the scaly demon with something that wasn't quite respect, but imitated it enough to give Crawly hope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly was still riding the success of Eden after all. And although Lucifer being aware of him wasn't necessarily a good thing he may as well make the most of the perks that came with notoriety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, well, he's not your toy, is he? I beat him in Eden, didn't I?" Crawly did not miss the delicious way Aziraphale's eyebrows lifted at that comment. Crawly grinned, all teeth and arrogance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But look at him," whined a demon that was mostly hair and nose. "All glowy. I can taste his grace."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Too bad." Crawly put a hand on Aziraphale's shoulder and pulled him away from the wall. "Find your own."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other demons muttered and backed off. Some even walked away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before their luck ran out Crawly began to hustle Aziraphale back down the corridor towards the exit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Quite the celebrity, aren't you?" Aziraphale muttered, but his cheeks were flushed and when he glanced away from Crawly he bit at his lower lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hot, itchy feeling squirmed lower still. Crawly wondered if letting go of the angel would help? But then he'd be carried away in the crush. Crawly held Aziraphale tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale allowed it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you even doing down here?" Crawly tried to sound grumpy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> Aziraphale's voice hitched. "Paper work. My report about the incident in the Garden and Gabriel's executive summary. He and Prince Beelzebub have been trying to work out what happens next, and as the whole thing is my fault, well, the delivery was a way for Gabriel to show his displeasure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked so despondent at that, hands worrying together over his stomach, that the truly undemonic  thoughts Crawly had first experienced on the wall at Eden made themselves known again. He hadn't wanted to leave Aziraphale then either. Not after finally finding someone interesting. The exit sign flickered just ahead of them as drips of water from the ceiling fizzed on the magic of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who knew when they'd see each other again? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were lucky I was in the area," Crawly said gamely. And the rescue had been quite dashing, even if he did think so himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes." Aziraphale looked up, the flush returned to his cheeks. "I suppose I am."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Crawly's arm around Aziraphale's shoulders their bodies were pressed close together. Closer than they had been on Eden's wall.  Their feathers brushed which did nothing for the maelstrom of sensations Crawly was trying and failing to process. Aziraphale's grace really was strong, and he was kind of glowy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hot, itchy feeling writhed. It made Crawly think of nothing so much as the humans and what he'd seen them do that first night after eating the fruit, beneath the stars with moon light illuminating their perspiring skin. "You, urm, in a rush to get back upstairs?" Crawly asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale looked at the exit sign, then back to Crawly's face. His pupils dilated. "Terrible twisty corridors down here. Awful signage. An angel could get quite lost without a handsome demon to help him." The smile that flashed across his face was hopeful and nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It quite stole the thoughts from Crawly's head. He tried to speak, but his words jumbled into, "ngk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He guided Aziraphale across the corridor and through a nondescript door. The storage cupboard was not what Crawly would have hoped for in terms of ambience, or comfort, but it was empty and the door could be locked with both a ward and a very secure bolt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale turned to face Crawly, his hopeful, nervous smile surfacing through his breathlessness. He backed against the opposite wall, which really left no more than a few inches of dingy light between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly was aware he was looming. His first thought was to stop it, but the way Aziraphale looked up at him seemed to encourage it. Crawly wet his lips. His fingers flexed, gripping the material of his robes. "And without a handsome demon to help him, a curious angel could get lost and into all sorts of trouble."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale's smile was glorious, although it got tucked away as soon as it burst forth. "Oh yes, I am in terrible trouble."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Terrible," said Crawly. "Trouble."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, ah," Aziraphale looked around the room, brow puckering slightly as he noted the various manacles, arranged by size, dangling from the ceiling, "Here I am at your mercy, and so grateful for you rescuing me from those other horrible and much less handsome demons outside." He lifted his eyebrows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Much less handsome," Crawly agreed. Although the truth of it was the underlings were just curious. It would have been unlikely to get to the point of Aziraphale getting accidently ripped apart before one of the senior managers had come along to break it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That thought rather ruined the story being put to work here. The threads of it were unravelling around them. Crawly was ready to apologise (for what? What was even happening?) and open the door when Aziraphale laughed awkwardly. "Do I need to draw you a picture? I know you were watching the humans that night in the Garden too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly looked up into eyes that were expectant and dark, and just as curious as he felt. The hot, itchiness was starting to make his skin tingle. There was an uncomfortable fluttering in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly didn't think, he surged forward, hands grasping Aziraphale's face. Their noses bumped, lips smooshed together. They stumbled back. Aziraphale's hand pressed to Crawly's chest, his other tugging Crawly's hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was weird. And a bit damp. Then Aziraphale pulled on Crawly's hair in a way that made his toes curl and the angle of their mouths changed, and, well, it was still weird but now nice weird rather than awkward weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Aziraphale moaned. A soft, breathy exhalation of pure pleasure. Crawly knew he was going to do pretty much whatever it took to hear that noise again. It had made a home in him and it ached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale's hand wandered from Crawly's chest to his waist, squeezing, pulling him closer. Crawly explored too, angelic chest and angelic hips. Aziraphale arched against him, the kiss getting damper as lips parted and tongues got involved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly could taste grace. Sweet and light like cloud stuff. He chased it, found more on Aziraphale's jaw, his neck, the juncture of his shoulder. Crawly worked his way down and then back up to Aziraphale's ear. He was feeling lightheaded, desperate for something he didn't know the name of. Aziraphale tilted his head, exposing more angelic neck for Crawly to tease. The thought sprang into being before Crawly could check it. He bit down on flesh. Not hard. At least, he hadn't meant it to be hard. Still, Aziraphale bucked against him, his moan edged with pain and relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that wrong?" Crawly pulled back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale's eyes were dazed. "I don't think you can do the wrong thing." Then he giggled. It was adorable, and Crawly lost his mind.  He bite Aziraphale again. He sucked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please!" Aziraphale gasped, his nails digging into Crawly's sides. "Oh, yes, please."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please what? Tell me what you want," Crawly breathed, nuzzling his nose into Aziraphale's hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You mean you don't know?" Aziraphale said. "I thought you watched the humans?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> did!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, yes, but it was dark and the details were a bit unclear," Aziraphale gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frustration rose up in Crawly's throat, turning into a growl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh!" Aziraphale fluttered. "I say! That's rather…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a red bruise on Aziraphale's neck, just below his ear. Crawly's stomach tightened. He was not giving up. "They were lying down. Face to face," Crawly said determinedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both looked at the tiny, narrow cupboard with its uneven, damp floor. Aziraphale wrinkled his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll improvise." Crawly's attention alighted on a stone shelf protruding from one side of the wall. He pushed a box of nipple clamps onto the floor and spun Aziraphale around, lifting him onto it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale gasped, wings fluttering to keep himself steady and arms tightening around Crawly's neck in a way that made him feel daring and heroic all over again. Aziraphale's legs bracketed Crawly's hips. The cupboard was so narrow Aziraphale could brace his feet against the opposite wall. His knees were slightly bent, the skirts of his robes sliding back down over his legs. Crawly had an urgent, and very demonic desire to bite those sturdy thighs too. "There," Crawly's voice was hoarse. "Hips all aligned."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. Very good." Aziraphale wriggled his bottom closer to the edge of the shelf. As a second option for biting his thighs, Crawly found digging his fingers into them more than satisfying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just, your robes, Crawly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly glanced down. He remembered Adam, bare from the waist down, thrusting as he pulled Eve tighter to him. "Right yes, sure." He began to hoist his robes up, Aziraphale's eager hands hindering more than helping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cupboard was so small and they were so close together that it felt like there were feathers everywhere. Aziraphale's bent forward, enclosing Crawly in a tent of soft white. He couldn't get his own out of the way, and wherever his own feathers brushed the angel's something sparked, not unpleasantly, but insistently. The thrill of it went all the way down to his toes, stopping at some other interesting and as yet unexplored places on the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his robes were out of the way, Crawly shifted closer. "Ready now?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I think. Oh wait! What's that poking into me?" Aziraphale squirmed, brows furrowing and hand releasing Crawly's hip to ferret between them. "What's this?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The object Aziraphale held up was a poker. Hopefully not too ichor stained. Crawly snatched it away, tossing it in the corner. "Nothing to worry about. Are we ready </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. Just, would you mind awfully kissing me again?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly would not mind at all. And now he knew how to do it, and how to do it so Aziraphale liked it, the heat beneath his skin came flooding back. His grip on Aziraphale's thigh tightened and the angel's head fell back against the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly knew just what to do. He bared his teeth and was rewarded with another wanton moan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale's hands grabbed Crawly's arse, dragging him closer until the smooth skin between his legs rubbed against Aziraphale's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nerves twittered low in Crawly's belly. He found Aziraphale's mouth again, welcoming and warm. Crawly rubbed his groin against Aziraphale, feeling his legs tighten as his hips lifted off the shelf, rolling upwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were they still kissing? It was messy and uncoordinated. Nothing but shared breath and </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Didn't matter. It felt good. It all felt so good that Crawly's toes tensed against the stone floor, scrabbling for purchase as he thrust harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was coming unmoored from his corporation. Nothing in the world but him and Aziraphale. Their lips dragged together, Aziraphale's gasps taking form as, "My dear, you're so good. So good to me." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale's wings were wrapped tight around them now, feathers meshing with Crawly's and brushing his skin. He was surrounded with grace, sweet as mana. It trickled over him, through him and he cleaved towards it as though his own soul was escaping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh!" Aziraphale whispered. "That's you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was. Who needed these bags of flesh anyway. Just got in the way of Aziraphale's fingers drifting through the essence of him, of lapping up divine sweetness without the barrier of a tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly lost his mind. Again. He saw white. Searing white as his soul sang and his corporation shivered, every nerve singing out with the joy of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gosh, sorry. That was me," Aziraphale said, voice high. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light faded leaving a moment where Crawly saw nothing but spots. They resolved themselves into Aziraphale's face, smile radiant and cheeks flushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That really was very…" Aziraphale began. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, it was," Crawly said quickly, just in case Aziraphale was going to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> again. Or, Heaven bless it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should probably…" Aziraphale gestured between them and then at the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes we should." Crawly helped Aziraphale down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They adjusted hair and robes, trying not to bump elbows or wings, and smiling awkwardly whenever their eyes met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crawly guided Aziraphale safely to the exit and the escalator out of Hell.  It would have seemed insurmountably rude and caddish not to really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood at the bottom with demons grumbling at them as they pushed past. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, see you around, angel." Crawly rocked on his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I rather hope so," Aziraphale told the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aziraphale stepped on to the escalator and Crawly watched him safely out of Hell. Then he walked back down the corridor to find out whatever he'd been summoned for. He whistled as he went. </span>
</p>
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